Life In The Background

Coversations with my friends:

*knock on room door*

Me: Yes?
Bene: It’s Bene.
Me: Yes.
Bene: Can I come in?
Me: You can.
Bene: Hi.
Me: Hi, Bene. What’s on your mind?
Bene: Um…can I talk to you?
Me: Well, I would hope so.
Bene: Is it okay if I sit down?
Me: Oh, please, please! I’m sorry! Would you like something to drink? Water? Wine? Beer?

*Opens sock drawer*

Me: Do you want a sandwich?
Bene: Wine, yes I….did you just get…a sandwich out of your sock-
Me: My sock drawer, yes.
Bene: Why are there sandwiches in your sock drawer?
Me: Did you come here to talk about where I keep my sandwiches?
Bene: What? No, it’s just…I’m interested now.
Me: Well, people come in and out of here. Often. You know that. If I left my sandwiches out in the open, they wouldn’t stand a chance. I would be sandwichless and I can’t let that happen. Where else am I supposed to keep my sandwiches? In the closet? No.
Bene: HAHAHAHA you’re so weird!

Conversations with the cat:

Cat: Meow

Me: Huh?

Cat: Meow

Me: Is that so?

Cat: Meow

Me: And why is that?

Cat: Meow

Me: I see.

Cat: Meow!

Me: Right, but what do you want me to do about it?

Cat: …

Me: That’s what I thought.

Conversations with my co-workers:

Anais: So why don’t you have a girlfriend?

Me: I’m not that easy of a person, really. Not that I think I’m super good looking and I have to have someone hot. Looks matter very little and it’s mostly just personality. Still, I find it hard to find someone because I normally can’t find someone that knows how to give me my space when I need it. I like my privacy, and certain days I just want to be by myself to read or write or just listen to music or whatever, you know?

Anais: Why?

Me: Why what?

Anais: Why do you want your own space?

Me: Because sometimes I just need to be me for me.

Anais: How do you expect to ever find a girl?

Me: I don’t, really.

Conversations with my co-workers:

*phone rings*
Me: oh gawd damn it…Hello?
Eli: Hey, Tavo! I’m sorry…did I wake you?
Me: Hey, Eli. It’s okay, don’t worry about it. What’s going on?
Eli: Well, I’m calling to tell you I made some changes in the schedule.
Me:…Eli, if you tell me I have to work today, I’m going to punch something.
Eli: No, no. I changed your day off from Tuesday to Monday. That means you can enjoy another day in Ensenada.
Me: Really, really or are you about to laugh?
Eli: Hahaha no, really. Enjoy another day there.
Me: Ah! Yes! Thank you! I will see you Tuesday!

Conversations with my family:

Nana: Ya se me perdio tu mama
Yo: Esta en el baño
*apunto a la puerta del baño*
Nana: Ah! Se esta bañando!
Yo: No, nana, la ducha esta arriba. Se esta secando el pelo.
Nana: Ah, mira! Okei, se esta bañando.
Yo: Ehm…si, vale.
Nana: Ya esta el cafe! Quieres una taza, mijo?
Yo: No gracias, nana, ya me tome una.
Nana: Y tu mama? No se donde esta.
Yo: Ehm…se esta bañando.
Nana: Ten, mijo, el cafe que querias.
Yo: Sobres! Gracias.

Conversations with my family:

Ma: Tengo que tirar lo de esta olla. Esta comida esta hechada a perder.
Yo: Ew, si, vale. Huele super mal.
Ma: Pues no lo huelas, sope.
*limpia olla haciendo mucho ruido*
Ma: Oops, perdon!
Yo: Perdonada! En el nombre el padre, el hijo, y el espiritu san-
Ma: Callate, menso!

Conversations with my family:

Mom: Is that how you’ve been all day?
Me: How?
Mom: In your pajamas…looking like…that.
Me: …yeah. Why?
Mom: Mijo, that’s not attractive.
Me: Mom, I stopped caring about looking “attractive” some time ago.
Mom: But what will girls think?
Me: Let them think whatever they wanna think. Plus, It’s not like I’mtrying to scare people off. It’s my day off. No one is here. No one is coming. No one is going to see me. I’m in the clear, it’s fine. Tomorrow when I dally off into the world I’ll be showered, shaved, and in actual clothes. Who dresses up to stay at home?

Conversations with my family:

Me: If I’m not up by 8:30 tomorrow, wake me up.
Mom: Okay, I’ll call you.
Me: No, pound on my door. If you just call my name from downstairs it doesn’t do anything. It just blends in with my dream and I have some lady in it yelling at me and I keep answering but it doesn’t seem to do any good because she keeps calling me.
Mom: You’re an idiot.