In other news…
I would love to kick Ash Ketchum’s ass. He just…he’s the worst.
It’s odd to see how I’ve ended up where I am. For the first time in a long time I’ve started planning stuff. I’ve been trying to get into the habit of paving a floor I can walk on because all I’ve ever done in life is just wing it and whatever happens, happens. It was fine for a long time, it took me down fun and interesting roads and others not so fun but necessary. I think that lifestyle came to an end and it was not that long ago that I realized I had hit a dead end a while back but didn’t notice because I was too busy looking around when I should have been looking forward to see a giant brick wall.
It was hard to think about what I wanted to study. Everyone says it’s something I should have known by now but it’s easier said than done. My love has always been for music but I don’t have the skills or the money to go into something like that. I have lost a lot of sleep and some sanity trying to come up with something I can study and make a career out of that won’t make me want to hang myself whenever my alarm clock goes off so I can start my day. It wasn’t until a couple months ago when I found that a community college has a sound engineering program. My mind snapped and my heart overjoyed and a calm came over me. This is how I could work with music. I was happy to see that I could work concerts, radio stations, TV, movies, music studios, etc.
I’ve also had a small dream for a long time and with this I could make it come true. I want to make a small studio and use it as a sort of recreation center where kids and teens could come and record and learn about recording and such. I would like to have people volunteer to give music classes. A place where under privileged kids and teens can take their minds off of the harsh life they might be living or problems they might be going through and turn all of that into music. Channel it into something productive and give them a sense of accomplishment. As much as I would love to make it free, it would have to be donation based so I could keep the place up and running.
I want this for me. I want to be able to prove to myself that I can do this and that I can get up in the morning and be glad to go to work once again. I want to be able to give back to those who have it rough growing up like I did. I want to give them something I wish I had when I was in my teens.
Jumping Back in the Pool
I feel the need to write again. I mean really write by using this place as a blog again even if no one reads it. Still, I supposed maybe one or two may read and it may seem a bit confusing because I don’t feel like explaining what has happened in the past few months. I always liked when stories started halfway anyway. I can always ask questions, I guess. I won’t mind.
It wasn’t until I got my car back that I really noticed the shocks needed to be replaced. 3 are pretty worn and one is just fucked so it feels like I’m driving through a dirt road rather than cement and asphalt. I figured it’d be best to ride along with my mom until I took it to the mechanic to get them changed on Wednesday.
I was in a good mood. My day off was on Friday and I thought I would treat myself to a “nothing day”. I didn’t leave my house, I didn’t call, text, or message anyone. I spent most of the day in bed watching That 70’s Show on Netflix and napping. Though my job isn’t physically tough, it really wears me out. I originally applied to be a dishwasher but the chef said I was too well spoken to be left in the back and wanted to put me in the club lounge instead, so he did. I’m very introvert and I wanted to be a dishwasher so I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone and now my job was to interact with the guest…fantastic. It takes a lot out of me to pretend to be interested in the stupid shit people talk to me about and all the bitching they do when the free food in the lounge isn’t to their liking. Of course I smile and say something like, “I’m very sorry! I’ll let them know downstairs and we’ll have something different tomorrow”. On the inside I’m really thinking, “Then how about you go to the restaurant and pay for your gawd damn food?! You fuck!”
Though Mitzi has seemed a bit distant and short tempered this past week or so, I know it’s because she’s been getting up way early and is on the bus and trolley all day going back and forth around the city. Ironically, she’s been getting up early to go to a meditation class. Still, I’ve been there and I know how tiring it can be. I went to pick her up from work last night after my shift was up and she practically jumped on me and kissed me. I asked her is she was okay and she said yes and that she missed me. It felt nice to catch her on such a good mood.
We went back to her place and I stayed a while before going to pick up my mom and heading back home. A lot of the time I wish the days had more hours. There’s never enough time. Never.
Since, I’ve been gone from tumblr this stuff happened!
- I sold my old car
- Bought another car (2000 VW Golf)
- I quit my job
- Got a better job
- Went to San Diego Comic-Con
- Got a girlfriend
- Started my comic collection back up
The Way I See It
Sometimes people will tell you that you need to fall to know which way is up. That’s true but some people also need to live in the hell they’ve created for themselves.
As much as I would like to
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for what you did. When your name comes up my blood boils just as it did years ago. Fuck you.